Swedish Drug Princess Breaks Jail:
A twelve-year-old drug-dealing whiz kid shot her way out of a high-security prison in Örebro Sunday night. She was born at Bangkok Airport in 1994, in the middle of a gunfight with the police, who killed her parents. She swore to avenge them, and had at the age of four established herself as the leading heroin(e) dealer in Thailand. To avoid capture, she escaped to Sweden in 2000, where she totally dominated the drug trade for three years, until she was arrested in 2003, in a sting operation lead by the Swedish Drug Czar Kalle Kaviar, age ten, and sentenced to 50 years in prison. She continued her drug dealings during her stint in jail, and is now expected to run for Prime Minister for the Feminist Party in the upcoming parliamentary elections.
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