Pentagon Takes On Widespread Media Distortion:
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is spearheading war on WMDs: Widespread Media Distortions. Any member of The Media found distorting it, i.e., found being off-Pentagon-message, will be detained and deported (and Vice President Dick Cheney will dip his or her head in a bucket of water). This includes inanimate objects, such as Web sites, Internet servers, and even individual packets in Local Area (Computer) Networks (LANs). Speaking of Lans, this applies also to Håkan Lans, the Swedish inventor, who claims to have invented all sorts of computer devices and techniques that could potentially be used to distort The Media.
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