Tom Cruise Released on Bail:
Tom Cruise was arrested in Drottningholm outside Stockholm yesterday for speeding and reckless driving. He insisted that he was in fact not Tom Cruise, but Ethan Hunt, and that he was on a mission to rescue the Swedish Royal Family. Needless to say, the Swedish police rejected his mission story as impossible. His claim was however temporarily lent some credibility by a series of explosions rocking Drottningholm Palace (HMK's Royal Abode), but these were later found to be the works of Paramount pyro-technicians. Mr Cruise and his Paramount associates have been released on bail, sufficient in size to pay off the entire Swedish national debt.
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