SAS Appoints New Chief of Concern:
Scandinavian Airline Systems, SAS, has much to worry about these days: loss of monopoly; disgruntled labor unions, resulting in frequent strikes; reduced profitability; competition from low price airlines, such as Malmö Aviation, etc., etc. To handle these concerns, SAS has appointed Mats Jansson for the new executive position as 'Chief of Concern.' His job will be to worry about all these problems, so as to not distract the rest of the SAS executives from enjoying golf, free luxury residences in their place of choice, golden parachutes, and free air travel in their private jets. "Passenger air travel is now such a Royal pain in the neck that SAS has equipped all it's executives with luxury private Learjets," explains Mr Jansson. Asked by the Swedish World News whether gold is not too heavy a material to make parachutes from, Mr Jansson replies: "No, gold is so malleable, that it can be pounded extremely thin."
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